Self-worth

I've thought about this a lot in the past day or so... I've been under a lot of stress lately from life, not from my job (which is different than "usual").  I also feel like I've been figuring out a lot of things lately, and learning things about myself that are really useful, important things to know.  I feel like these two things are related, stress and learning.  Ah, but, if we remember what Tolstoy said, "We imagine that when we are thrown out of our accustomed grooves that all is lost, but it is only then that what is new and good begins."

I've been stressing about being a good mom.  But what this really boils down to personally, for me, is that I have this very strong need to be loved by my child.  It's huge - way too big.  It's like I'm placing my self-worth in her hands, and it really needs to be in mine.  I need to consciously remember that the goal is to raise a healthy and well-adjusted child into a functioning adult.  Rose is becoming more and more independent and I am falling back into the wings.  A big part of me (too big) is really upset about that!  A small part of me is happy and proud.  I need to make the pride more important than my hurt feelings.  She won't always need me!  In fact, the number of years she needs me is exceedingly small compared with her whole life!  It is so crazy to place my self-worth and self-esteem in my 5-year-old's hands.